Embracing Imposter Syndrome: The Unspoken Truths Business Gurus Avoid
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I remember the first time I heard the term "imposter syndrome."
I was a young business strategist trying to break into an industry packed with so-called "gurus" and experts.
The term felt like a diagnosis of a condition I’d been suffering from silently my entire career.
In this episode, we're going to dig into what these gurus won’t tell you about imposter syndrome, especially when you have ADHD.
Hi, I’m Katie McManus, business strategist and money mindset coach, and in this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on this pervasive issue and giving you real strategies to overcome it.
Every entrepreneur hits new milestones.
You might go from zero to $5,000 a month, and suddenly, that goalpost moves to $10,000.
But guess what?
The moment you hit $10,000 a month, you're gleeful for about five minutes before you experience what I call a “10k meltdown.”
Your success becomes the new normal, and the pressure to maintain it mounts.
And with ADHD in the mix, the self-doubt and constant need to measure up can be debilitating.
We're conditioned to seek external validation in an environment that offers no grades or lunchroom invitations.
So how do you break free from a cycle designed to make you feel like an imposter?
That's what we're exploring in this episode.
Once you’ve listened, you’ll learn critical strategies like embracing your authentic self and facing fears head-on.
Instead of waiting for the world to tell you how good you are, you’ll understand why it’s crucial to cultivate internal self-worth.
Empowering yourself isn’t just about getting rid of imposter syndrome; it’s about stepping into your power, making bold moves, and letting your unique qualities shine.
By the end of this episode, you won't merely be informed; you'll be equipped to transform your mindset and scale your business without letting self-doubt hold you back.
Timestamped summary
00:00 Success triggers imposter syndrome, especially with ADHD.
04:58 Imposter syndrome stems from broken confidence training.
07:36 External validation doesn't determine self-worth.
11:47 Don't let fear control your business visibility.
16:19 Be authentic to help clients and yourself.
19:06 Embrace uniqueness, overcome imposter syndrome confidently.
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In this episode, we're going to talk about what the gurus will not tell you about imposter syndrome.
Katie McManusHi, I'm Katie McManus, business strategist and money mindset coach.
Katie McManusAnd welcome to a genecast squirrel.
Katie McManusThere's a saying I use with my clients, new level, new devil.
Katie McManusWhen a client will go from $0 a month to $5,000 a month in their business, you'd be shocked how quickly it becomes not a big deal.
Katie McManusYou'd be shocked how quickly that massive success of building a $60,000 a year business becomes completely unimpressive against their new goal of $10,000 a month.
Katie McManusRight.
Katie McManusAnd once they hit $10,000 a month, they'll be happier for, you know, about five minutes, and then they'll have a complete meltdown.
Katie McManusAnd this has happened more times than I can count.
Katie McManusI call it the ten k meltdown because they hit $10,000 a month and then they completely melt down over the fact that that is now the standard for being successful.
Katie McManusThey have to recreate it every single month, which usually doesn't happen.
Katie McManusUsually it takes another, like, handful of months to build up to a solid, consistent $10,000 a month.
Katie McManusBut it doesn't matter what level of your career, what level of success you reach in your business, you're always going to feel like you're an imposter.
Katie McManusAnd this hits particularly hard for those of us with ADHD, because if you think about how we've lived our lives, we've constantly lived our lives trying to pretend we're just like everyone else, and we do this without even consciously thinking of it, you know, how good are you at appearing to be very attentive in a meeting?
Katie McManusHow good are you at looking super interested on a Zoom call?
Katie McManusI bet you're also pretty good at appearing busy when you have a big project that you're procrastinating doing.
Katie McManusWe all know that feeling where your boss, or like, someone who has some kind of stake in what you're doing, comes by.
Katie McManusOh, are you working on that thing?
Katie McManusYeah, absolutely.
Katie McManusMm hmm.
Katie McManusYeah, totally.
Katie McManusAbsolutely.
Katie McManusNot going down a Wikipedia wormhole about Henry VIII and his wives.
Katie McManusNo, never.
Katie McManusNot me.
Katie McManusThere's this great story about the author, Neil Gaiman, who, by the way, is one of my favorite writers of all time.
Katie McManusHe wrote good omens, american gods, the graveyard book, so many incredible books.
Katie McManusAnd if you have not checked out good omens on prime, I urge you to.
Katie McManusIt's so good.
Katie McManusIf you don't like it, then we can't be friends.
Katie McManusI've honestly watched it probably about 85 times.
Katie McManusIt's just always on in my house.
Katie McManusIt's just on in the background.
Katie McManusIt's one of those, like, really familiar stories because we like having, like, that background noise so that we can kind of focus on something, but nothing.
Katie McManusGet distracted.
Katie McManusKind of, like, takes up that extra 20% of attention span that is dangerous.
Katie McManusThat could lead us, like, to try to clean out our closet.
Katie McManusSquirrel.
Katie McManusYou know, go through all of our makeup, and then all of a sudden, like, we've given ourselves a complete makeover, and we've made a mess, and then we don't want to clean it up anyway.
Katie McManusSquirrel.
Katie McManusSquirrel.
Katie McManusNeil Gaiman, he is an incredibly successful author.
Katie McManusHe's written bestsellers.
Katie McManusA lot of those bestsellers have been turned into movies and tv shows.
Katie McManusAnd he's in high, high demand.
Katie McManusSo he tells this story about being invited to this party.
Katie McManusAnd this party has, like, Hollywood elite.
Katie McManusIt has people who are so successful in their given careers.
Katie McManusAnd he's standing there feeling super awkward because he's thinking, like, why am I here?
Katie McManusWhy did they invite me?
Katie McManusYou know, here's a famous actor and, like, an incredibly successful, award winning director, and here's this person and that person.
Katie McManusThey all were just leading in their fields, and he's standing there just kind of, like, nursing his drink, feeling completely out of place.
Katie McManusHis imposter syndrome had just completely taken over.
Katie McManusAnd he sees someone, this other guy, who also kind of looks out of place.
Katie McManusAnd so they strike up a conversation.
Katie McManusThis guy also happens to be named Neil.
Katie McManusAnd he's talking to this guy, and the guy at one point says, you know, I don't know why they invited me.
Katie McManusI'm not as impressive as everyone else here.
Katie McManusAnd it turns out he was talking to Neil Armstrong, who's walked on the f moon.
Katie McManusApollo Eleven.
Katie McManusStill looking mighty fine from here.
Katie McManusYou're cleared for landing.
Katie McManusAnd I share this story because I have good news and bad news for you.
Katie McManusHaving imposter syndrome will not stop you from being successful.
Katie McManusYou can be massively successful and still experience imposter syndrome.
Katie McManusMost people do.
Katie McManusMost people who are successful still experience imposter syndrome.
Katie McManusBut the bad news is that, yes, while we're all looking for a cure for imposter syndrome and that self doubt, it's never going away.
Katie McManusSo imposter syndrome happens when you feel like you've been faking it.
Katie McManusYou feel like people have been fooled into thinking that you're competent and that sometime, like, at some point, they're gonna figure out that you're faking it, that you don't know what you're doing, that you are an imposter.
Katie McManusAnd when you have been legitimately faking it for a very long time, it's really easy to convince yourself that you're doing that here as well.
Katie McManusAnd at the heart of imposter syndrome, we're really talking about confidence and self esteem and how we've been taught to gauge what our confidence level and our self esteem steam levels should be.
Katie McManusIs completely broken.
Katie McManusIt does not work.
Katie McManusIt's not healthy, and it doesn't actually lead to having people with high self esteem or high confidence levels, because what we're trained to do is to look for outside reassurance that we're good, to look for feedback.
Katie McManusAnd I want you to think back to school.
Katie McManusYou know what happened when you handed in your homework?
Katie McManusYou were given, like, a star, or work harder.
Katie McManusYou had that terrible, like, pain inducing red pen marks all over it.
Katie McManusOr you had the blue pen.
Katie McManusThe blue pen was like, what you wanted to see on your paper.
Katie McManusThe blue pen was like, great job, amazing point.
Katie McManusWhen you walked into the lunchroom at school, how many people invited you to their table?
Katie McManusThis is another method that we use to gauge what our worth is, to gauge how confident we should be.
Katie McManusSo I used to do improv classes when I lived in San Francisco, and it was so much fun.
Katie McManusIf you have a fear of public speaking, that's why I initially did it.
Katie McManusGo and take improv classes, because what it does, it makes you unafraid of making mistakes, because you're constantly making mistakes, because there's no way to prepare.
Katie McManusBut there was this one exercise they had us do that I think about all the time.
Katie McManusWe were all given a little card that had a number on it, but we weren't allowed to look and see what our number was, and we had to literally tape it to our forehead and walk around.
Katie McManusAnd based on how everyone else treated us, we gauged what our status was.
Katie McManusSo if you were a one, you were basically the scum of the earth.
Katie McManusNo one wanted to talk to you.
Katie McManusIf people came to you and treated you with respect, probably meant that you were mid tier and you had to just walk around like a normal human.
Katie McManusIf people were reverent to you, if they bowed down to you, that meant you were a ten.
Katie McManusThat meant you were a king amongst people, an emperor, empress.
Katie McManusAnd it was amazing how accurately people figured out what their own number was based on how everyone else treated them.
Katie McManusLike this was just a game in an improv class.
Katie McManusBut this is what we do in our normal lives.
Katie McManusWe look to everyone else to help us gauge how important am I, how qualified am I, how good am I at what I do?
Katie McManusBut the problem with the grown up world is that people around us aren't giving us grades all the time.
Katie McManusWe don't necessarily have a lunchroom, especially if you work from home, either for yourself or for a company.
Katie McManusSure, my dog wants me to sit with her when I have lunch, but mainly because she wants my lunch.
Katie McManusNot a good gauge of what my self esteem should be.
Katie McManusSo if you're a business owner and you have ADHD, and your brain has been conditioned to look at the world to tell you what your self esteem should be, how confident you should be, are you an imposter or not an imposter?
Katie McManusYou're set up for failure on every front because, bad news, it's not your client's job to tell you how good you are at what you do.
Katie McManusIt's not their job to give you feedback on every front when they do amazing.
Katie McManusIt helps you do more of what you're good at, or it helps you get better at areas where you need to up your game.
Katie McManusBut if you're waiting for your self esteem and your confidence to go up based on external feedback, you're never going to have it.
Katie McManusBecause confidence and self esteem is an inside game.
Katie McManusYou get to decide what the number is on your own forehead and how we communicate.
Katie McManusThis is in how we dress.
Katie McManusIt's in how we carry ourselves.
Katie McManusIt's in how willing we are to put ourselves out there and take up space and be loud.
Katie McManusThe funny thing about being a business strategist.
Katie McManusOoh, what am I going to say next?
Katie McManusWell, you'll have to keep listening to find out.
Katie McManusBut first, squirrel, squirrel, squirrel, squirrel.
Katie McManusThe funny thing about being a business strategist for just humans who wanna start a business, who are solopreneurs, they even wanna start an agency.
Katie McManusSometimes my clients make dramatically more money than I do.
Katie McManusAnd as their business coach and strategist, sometimes that can kick off some imposter syndrome with me, because here I am telling them how to make more money when they're making more money than I am.
Katie McManusAt the end of the day, that's the metric that matters for me.
Katie McManusIf my client's making more money than me, then that means that I'm really good at what I do.
Katie McManusBut our brains are not that smart.
Katie McManusSometimes our brains tend to go to comparitis of, well, how much money are you making.
Katie McManusHow much money are they making?
Katie McManusThey must be better than you.
Katie McManusNot always the case.
Katie McManusYou know, doctors.
Katie McManusYou know, a general physician can make anywhere from, like $100 to $250,000 a year, depending on where they live and what kind of demographic they serve, versus a brain surgeon who can make anywhere from 700,000 to 2 million a year, depending on where they live and how much demand there is.
Katie McManusThey're both working the same amount of hours.
Katie McManusThey can both be equally good in their own sphere, but it's hard to compare the two to each other just based on how much money they're making.
Katie McManusAnd the crazy thing about this is when we get this feedback from the world that we're not good enough, what our mind and what our subconscious actually wants us to do is to get smaller.
Katie McManusDon't be noticed.
Katie McManusIf you're not good enough for this tribe, you don't want anyone to notice.
Katie McManusYou don't want people to look at you and think, oh, you're actually draining our resources and you're not worth it.
Katie McManusYou better make yourself super, super small, and no one will notice you.
Katie McManusAnd then you'll just be able to skate on by being this resource, drag on the rest of the tribe, praying and hoping that no one will notice and try to kick you out.
Katie McManusOur brains, unfortunately, have not evolved as quickly as our society has.
Katie McManusYou know, our fight, flight, freeze fawn response still gets kicked in, even when it's not relevant.
Katie McManusJust because you're not posting on LinkedIn for a week doesn't mean you're gonna get kicked out of society and have to go forge for berries in the woods all by yourself.
Katie McManusAnd, of course, what happens when you're running a business and you start playing smaller?
Katie McManusYou stop attracting clients, you stop getting feedback that people want what you have, because people stop knowing that you have it to sell.
Katie McManusAnd it becomes this vicious cycle where you're never able to break out of it.
Katie McManusSo what do you do about this?
Katie McManusHow do you break out of this?
Katie McManusI mean, here's the basis of what I work on with my clients to help them break out of the cycle of imposter syndrome, where they think they're never good enough is they have to stop being such a fucking weenie.
Katie McManusSeriously.
Katie McManusWe don't talk about this enough on the Weenie cast, which is totally my fault because it's my podcast and I decide what we talk about.
Katie McManusBut letting your fears drive your business is not a good strategy.
Katie McManusAnd getting over a fear doesn't happen by thinking about it a lot.
Katie McManusIf youre terrified of spiders.
Katie McManusJust thinking about spiders a lot is not going to help you get over the fear.
Katie McManusYou have to expose yourself to it.
Katie McManusYou have to show yourself, oh, I can be in the same room as a spider and not die.
Katie McManusAnd you have to do it over and over and over and over again until the fear abates.
Katie McManusIf youre afraid of public speaking, you have to just get up and speak publicly.
Katie McManusNow, there are a lot of ways you can do it.
Katie McManusYou can take improv classes like I did, and then go to toastmasters and then take, like, an elite public speaking class.
Katie McManusThat is absolutely an option, but none of that stuff is going to work if you're not also public speaking and showing yourself.
Katie McManusI can get up in front of a group of people and speak to them and make mistakes and make my point and be charming and be awful and nothing die.
Katie McManusYou have to just go and do it.
Katie McManusIn starting a business, you're not going to be able to build up the tolerance to the fear of putting yourself out there until you just put yourself out there.
Katie McManusYou know, the first time I went live, I did a live video on Facebook.
Katie McManusI was terrified.
Katie McManusI think I lasted like three minutes.
Katie McManusThat's what he said.
Katie McManusI'm actually not a 36 year old woman.
Katie McManusI'm actually a 14 year old boy.
Katie McManusSo the first time I went live, it didn't go so well, but I didn't die.
Katie McManusAnd the second time I went live, it also didn't go so well.
Katie McManusBut I didn't die.
Katie McManusAnd the third time, and the fourth time, and the fifth time, and the 6th time, and so on until it started getting a little better.
Katie McManusThe only point you can start improving and doing well is when you've stopped thinking you're gonna die.
Katie McManusAnd the only way to stop thinking that you're gonna die is to do it before you're ready.
Katie McManusDo it afraid.
Katie McManusYou're never gonna be good at something that scares the crap out of you on the first try.
Katie McManusIt's never gonna happen.
Katie McManusAnd the cool thing about this is, actually, it doesn't really matter if you're good or bad in the beginning because you're taking up space.
Katie McManusYou're daring to put something out there, be it a live video, a post to getting up on stage, speaking at a networking event, whatever.
Katie McManusYou're daring to be big.
Katie McManusYou're daring to command the room, to command attention, to be loud, and people pay attention to that.
Katie McManusThat's when you start getting the feedback loop.
Katie McManusThat's when you start getting people who want to invite you to their lunch table.
Katie McManusThat's when you start getting feedback on your homework.
Katie McManusThe red marks and the blue marks.
Katie McManusDo you know how many people create content and put it out in the world?
Katie McManusAnd the content doesn't actually say anything, doesn't have a point.
Katie McManusIt just sounds kind of smart because you're using big words.
Katie McManusThere are full ass politicians who get elected to represent full ass states and countries that never actually say anything of any substance.
Katie McManusThey just get up on stage, taking up space and say it really loudly and say it again and again and again and they command attention.
Katie McManusThe most dangerous thing for our world is that we continue to let imbeciles and people who are not qualified to help other people to continue to command attention like this.
Katie McManusYou and I both know that what you do for your clients is an incredible help.
Katie McManusIt's something that they desperately need.
Katie McManusAnd if you're too chicken to actually get out there and command their attention and make sure that they know that you're here to help them, you're setting them up to fall for whatever bull someone else is selling who is not as good as you.
Katie McManusAnd here's the kicker, and this is what a lot of people struggle with, especially those of us with ADHD who've spent most of our life masking.
Katie McManusTrying to fit in with everyone else is the only way you're going to be able to take up space and be loud and command attention and actually have it impact your confidence and kick imposter syndrome's butt is by being you, by being authentic.
Katie McManusAnd I know that word gets thrown around a lot and it's completely overused, but it's never going to work if you're trying to be someone else, if you're trying to dress the way someone else dresses.
Katie McManusNot going to work.
Katie McManusYou're never going to feel at home in your own skin.
Katie McManusIf you're trying to speak the way someone else speaks, it's not going to work.
Katie McManusYou're going to constantly feel like you're fooling people into thinking you're credible, which, yeah, I mean, essentially you are.
Katie McManusYou're fooling them into thinking that you're someone that you're not when actually, let me just, let me just clear this up.
Katie McManusYou're not fooling them.
Katie McManusPeople will subconsciously know, don't trust this person.
Katie McManusThere's something not trustworthy here.
Katie McManusThere's something fake.
Katie McManusI can sense it.
Katie McManusI'm not sure what it is, but there's something not real here.
Katie McManusYou might sign clients, but those clients will always hold back because they won't really know.
Katie McManusIs this someone I can trust?
Katie McManusOvercoming imposter syndrome is an inside job.
Katie McManusThe first person who has to give you feedback that you are just fine just the way you are.
Katie McManusWith all your quirks and faults and strengths and gifts.
Katie McManusThe feedback that matters the most is you.
Katie McManusAnd the key to this is to stop trying to be the idealized version of yourself, because that person will never exist.
Katie McManusIt's a perfectionist dream.
Katie McManusPerfect doesn't exist.
Katie McManusWhat you have to do is really understand who is your favorite self.
Katie McManusAnd I talked about this in episode 100, how to get in touch with that favorite self.
Katie McManusBut your favorite self is never going to be perfect because that's not what matters.
Katie McManusYour favorite self is the person that you most enjoy being in every moment of the day.
Katie McManusYou know, your favorite self might not wear stilettos.
Katie McManusYour favorite self might wear cool sneakers.
Katie McManusYour favorite self might not wear a designer suit jacket.
Katie McManusYour favorite self might wear a hot dog costume because it makes them giggle.
Katie McManusAnd it proves a business point that you can stop being a weenie.
Katie McManusAnd for folks with ADHD, a big part of this is accepting how your brain works differently from everyone else.
Katie McManusNot just accepting it.
Katie McManusIt's celebrating all the strengths that you have, all the gifts that you have as someone with ADHD.
Katie McManusAnd practicing, you don't have to out yourself right away, but practicing sharing this about yourself and doing so with pride.
Katie McManusSo, in short, if you want to get over imposter syndrome, you just have to stop being a weenie and go for it.
Katie McManusAnd I say that like it's easy.
Katie McManusIt's not.
Katie McManusIt's going to be one of the hardest things you ever do.
Katie McManusIt's going to be a whole ass personal journey.
Katie McManusIt might require some therapy, some coaching, a whole bunch of support.
Katie McManusBut I do know one thing, and it's this.
Katie McManusYou can do this.
Katie McManusYou have it in you.
Katie McManusYou wouldn't want to start a business if you didn't have it in you, if this wasn't meant to be the journey that you're supposed to be on.
Katie McManusSo go do it.
Katie McManusSo my uncle Darrell, who lives in Idaho and he owns the farm, used to raise miniature ponies or miniature horses.
Katie McManusHe's very involved in the rodeo scene and goes around cooking pigs over spits for events.
Katie McManusIt's really cool.
Katie McManusAnd a rustic, like, rural guy, right?
Katie McManusAnd he came to San Francisco when I was, like, 25, and I lived out there and I was working out there.
Katie McManusI took him to the Museum of Science in San Francisco.
Katie McManusYou know, he's this big guy, and he's wearing farm gear like his fenders and a big belt buckle.
Katie McManusHe looks like the cowboy, right?
Katie McManusAnd we go in and it's like a Tuesday.
Katie McManusCause I worked in restaurants at the time.
Katie McManusThat was my day off.
Katie McManusWe go in and there's all these school groups of kids in this exhibit where you have to, like, travel up this winding up exhibit to the top where they have this butterfly garden.
Katie McManusThere are all these kids staring at him.
Katie McManusAnd you could tell he was getting really self conscious.
Katie McManusCause he sticks out.
Katie McManusHe doesn't look like everyone else, has his handlebar mustache, and he just is not dressed like everyone else.
Katie McManusThis little girl, who had to be about eight years old, has probably never been outside of the urban San Francisco Bay Area.
Katie McManusHer friends shoved her forward, and she was like, oh, God.
Katie McManusShe walks up to him and she's like, sir, sir, are you a cowboy?
Katie McManusAnd he looks at her and he's like, well, I'm not a cowboy, but I drive the horses and I deal with the carriages.
Katie McManusAnd he starts saying all this farm talk that I don't even understand.
Katie McManusShe's standing there wide eyed and nodding like she understands every word.
Katie McManusShe's like, okay.
Katie McManusAnd she runs back to her friend.
Katie McManusShe's like, yeah, guys, he's definitely a cowboy.
Katie McManusAnd he didn't realize it, but for them, that made their day.
Katie McManusThey got to meet an actual cowboy.
Katie McManusAnd I was like, daryl, do you realize they are so excited they got to meet you because you're like this magical being to them?
Katie McManusAnd he's like, oh.
Katie McManusIt completely changed his demeanor for the rest of the day.
Katie McManusHe didn't feel like he stuck out in a bad way.
Katie McManusHe was like, oh, the school children thought it was cool.
Katie McManusSquirrel, squirrel, squirrel, squirrel.