101. Are you being a selfish marketer?

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Hey new listener, thanks so much for checking us out and there's a good chance you have ADHD.

[00:00:05] [SPEAKER_02]: So I quickly wanted to ask you to please follow this podcast in Apple Podcasts, Spotify or

[00:00:11] [SPEAKER_02]: whichever app you're listening to this on. Don't leave it until later because you will forget.

[00:00:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you. Are you being a selfish ass with your marketing? Let's find out. Hi, I'm Katie

[00:00:22] [SPEAKER_00]: McManus, business strategist and money mindset coach and welcome to The Weeniecast.

[00:00:28] [SPEAKER_02]: The number one fear that my clients have about posting on social media when they first start

[00:00:33] [SPEAKER_02]: their business is that people are going to see them posting and think that they're doing it

[00:00:39] [SPEAKER_02]: just for the attention. That they're sharing personal stories, talking about their work,

[00:00:44] [SPEAKER_02]: maybe the occasional selfie or picture of their dog or cat just because they like attention.

[00:00:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Hey, look at me. It's so ingrained in our subconscious, especially those of us who grew up

[00:00:57] [SPEAKER_02]: with ADHD either knowing or not knowing that it is bad to call attention to yourself.

[00:01:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Calling attention to yourself means that you are selfish, that you don't care about others,

[00:01:10] [SPEAKER_02]: that you are a distraction and oftentimes people also tag that desperation vibe to the

[00:01:18] [SPEAKER_02]: person. It doesn't matter who I talk to, it doesn't matter what country they grew up in,

[00:01:22] [SPEAKER_02]: it doesn't matter their gender, it doesn't matter any other circumstance in their life.

[00:01:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Everyone is terrified that people will see them posting, calling attention to their business

[00:01:33] [SPEAKER_02]: and think, oh, they just want attention. The common thread is that calling attention

[00:01:39] [SPEAKER_02]: to yourself is borderline evil. If it's not evil, it's pathetic. Well, I have some news for

[00:01:46] [SPEAKER_02]: you. I don't know if it's good or bad news depending on how you look at it.

[00:01:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Calling attention to yourself is the only way to get clients. You're going to have to do it if

[00:01:55] [SPEAKER_02]: you want this business to be successful. The good news is that there are so many ways to call

[00:01:59] [SPEAKER_02]: attention to yourself, to your good work, to the types of clients that you work with.

[00:02:03] [SPEAKER_02]: The bad news is that it's going to feel gross the first couple dozen times you do it.

[00:02:12] [SPEAKER_02]: So we are absolutely going to talk through how you can get over this because this is going to be one

[00:02:17] [SPEAKER_02]: of the things that holds you back from having any kind of success in your business. But first,

[00:02:22] [SPEAKER_02]: we have to look at where this comes from because if we're not acknowledging where these seeds got

[00:02:29] [SPEAKER_02]: planted, we can't rip the tree out. And actually I say tree, it's more of a jack-of-the-giant

[00:02:34] [SPEAKER_02]: beanstalk kind of plant going on here. It has deep, deep roots and it goes all the way

[00:02:39] [SPEAKER_02]: to the sky. And it taps into some really scary s*** that we believe about ourselves that just

[00:02:44] [SPEAKER_02]: isn't true. And I hate to say it, it comes from some really old school ways of raising

[00:02:49] [SPEAKER_02]: children on one side. It also comes from going to public school, going to school with teachers

[00:02:56] [SPEAKER_02]: who are also raised in that old school manner, going to school with kids who maybe weren't that

[00:03:02] [SPEAKER_02]: nice, think mean girls. We don't do this a lot so this is like a really huge deal.

[00:03:07] [SPEAKER_02]: We want to invite you to have lunch with us every day for the rest of the week.

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, it's okay. Coolness. So we'll see you tomorrow. On Wednesdays we wear pink. Squirrel,

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_02]: squirrel, squirrel. And also this fear that we were different. This fear if you knew that you

[00:03:23] [SPEAKER_02]: had ADHD then you knew that you were different. But if you didn't know for sure, you always

[00:03:29] [SPEAKER_02]: sensed that there was something about you that wasn't the same as other kids. And being

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_02]: different as a child, being different as a human is innately terrifying. Right? Because

[00:03:40] [SPEAKER_02]: our ancestors if they were too different from everyone else in their tribe or their village,

[00:03:45] [SPEAKER_02]: they ran the risk of either getting burned at the stake as a witch

[00:03:53] [SPEAKER_02]: or getting ostracized and kicked out so that they had to go and survive in the wilderness

[00:03:59] [SPEAKER_02]: all by themselves. Which the human beings of the past and of the present are not meant to

[00:04:04] [SPEAKER_02]: survive or thrive in isolation. So this taps into our survival instincts for one.

[00:04:10] [SPEAKER_02]: So I invite you to think back to when you were a kid. I bet you remember some kind of

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_02]: formative memory where you maybe wore like your favorite dinosaur t-shirt to school

[00:04:21] [SPEAKER_02]: or maybe you wore your light up sneakers or something that made you stick out. It was

[00:04:28] [SPEAKER_02]: probably something that you really, really loved. Something that you felt was such a

[00:04:33] [SPEAKER_02]: representation of your personality. For me, every single one of the dresses that I owned,

[00:04:39] [SPEAKER_02]: I named for princesses from the Disney movies. I had my Jasmine dress, I had my Cinderella dress,

[00:04:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I had my Ariel dress. There was a certain point where I stopped wearing them. I don't

[00:04:49] [SPEAKER_02]: remember specifically what it was that happened, but I became very embarrassed of how obsessed

[00:04:56] [SPEAKER_02]: I was with the Disney princesses. So much so that when I had a birthday cake one year

[00:05:00] [SPEAKER_02]: with the Disney princesses on, I immediately after I blew out the candles, I hid the little

[00:05:05] [SPEAKER_02]: figurines that came on it. Even though everyone had already seen them. This is something that

[00:05:10] [SPEAKER_02]: kids innately do. You know, when they get to a certain age, they start being mean to each

[00:05:15] [SPEAKER_02]: other. They start identifying differences and of course we know this comes from the parents.

[00:05:20] [SPEAKER_02]: This comes from the people they're spending the most time with. I don't believe that

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_02]: there's a naturally born this way mean child. It's behavior that's learned. And unfortunately,

[00:05:31] [SPEAKER_02]: those of us who naturally kind of stick out often become the targets of that.

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Especially if you have ADHD and you have a little bit of impulsivity. I guarantee you there

[00:05:42] [SPEAKER_02]: are moments where you spoke out in class where you got the stink eye from the teacher or you

[00:05:46] [SPEAKER_02]: got punished in some way and you couldn't help it. It's genuinely just part of who you are

[00:05:53] [SPEAKER_02]: and how you operate. And yet it was made to be this awful, terrible thing that you had

[00:05:58] [SPEAKER_02]: to hide about yourself. And then of course, like not all of this stuff has to be done to us to

[00:06:08] [SPEAKER_02]: make us want to make ourselves smaller and invisible. We can see other people getting

[00:06:14] [SPEAKER_02]: torn down for how they're different, for how they put themselves out there, for how they

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_02]: call attention to themselves. And we learn very quickly that if they're getting torn down,

[00:06:24] [SPEAKER_02]: I'll probably get torn down if I do the same thing. So I better stay quiet.

[00:06:28] [SPEAKER_02]: I better hide. I better stay small. So before we get to changing this, before we shift your mindset

[00:06:34] [SPEAKER_02]: on this, we have to have a lot of compassion for younger you. Whatever age you were where you got

[00:06:41] [SPEAKER_02]: told that you were just seeking attention or and that was bad, or you became afraid of sticking

[00:06:48] [SPEAKER_02]: out of being loud, being too visible. Whatever happened in your formative years, we have to

[00:06:54] [SPEAKER_02]: have so much love to that person, to that little kid. They didn't have the protection

[00:06:58] [SPEAKER_02]: that they deserved in that moment. They didn't have the understanding that they deserved in

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_02]: that moment. A big thing that I hear with my clients and this is across the board. It doesn't

[00:07:07] [SPEAKER_02]: matter if they work for themselves or are still full-time employed and are working on

[00:07:11] [SPEAKER_02]: their business on the side is when they're sick. And I experienced this as well. When

[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_02]: we're sick as adults with ADHD, we tend to have so much anxiety about calling out to work.

[00:07:25] [SPEAKER_02]: We tend to have so much fear about contacting clients and letting them know that we need to

[00:07:30] [SPEAKER_02]: cancel or move our sessions about calling our employer and saying, hey, I'm not well. I

[00:07:35] [SPEAKER_02]: need to take today off. And often there's like this performative requirement where we feel like

[00:07:41] [SPEAKER_02]: we have to go and get proof. We have to go and get proof that we're really sick. We have

[00:07:45] [SPEAKER_02]: to be able to display that we're really sick. I remember talking to a friend who also had ADHD

[00:07:51] [SPEAKER_02]: and she shared with me that she always felt so much happier when she was sick in a way that

[00:07:56] [SPEAKER_02]: affected her voice because she felt like her boss would believe her versus like if she were

[00:08:01] [SPEAKER_02]: like vomiting and it wasn't affecting her vocal cords and she sounded perfectly healthy on the

[00:08:06] [SPEAKER_02]: phone, she felt like she would walk into work the next day and just get fired.

[00:08:11] [SPEAKER_02]: And I have a theory. This is just a theory. I have not done any research to verify this,

[00:08:17] [SPEAKER_02]: but I know as a kid and as a teenager, I often had stomach aches. And as an adult who's done

[00:08:23] [SPEAKER_02]: a lot of mental health work and worked with the therapist and pays attention to like mental

[00:08:28] [SPEAKER_02]: health TikTok, I know now that those stomach aches were anxiety. Those stomach aches weren't me

[00:08:34] [SPEAKER_02]: actually being sick. They were anxiety. But as a child, I didn't know how to communicate

[00:08:38] [SPEAKER_02]: that because it wasn't part of the vernacular. My parents didn't have any understanding of the

[00:08:42] [SPEAKER_02]: fact that I had anxiety and they also didn't understand because they weren't taught that

[00:08:47] [SPEAKER_02]: anxiety shows up in children as stomach aches, sometimes headaches. And so as kids with ADHD

[00:08:54] [SPEAKER_02]: who have these physical symptoms because they don't know how to protect their energy

[00:09:00] [SPEAKER_02]: and really manage themselves well yet, the best thing we can come up with is I'm sick.

[00:09:05] [SPEAKER_02]: I need to stay home. I'm sick. I need to step out way from this group right now.

[00:09:10] [SPEAKER_02]: And I think for a lot of us, it happened so often that sometimes maybe our caretakers or

[00:09:15] [SPEAKER_02]: our teachers or the school nurse or whoever the adults in the room were started suspecting

[00:09:21] [SPEAKER_02]: that we weren't actually sick. And because there wasn't that understanding of how anxiety

[00:09:26] [SPEAKER_02]: shows up in children's bodies, the logical next step is you just want to stay home.

[00:09:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Just want attention. Now, it's funny every time I talk to a client and we're going through this

[00:09:43] [SPEAKER_02]: conversation maybe because they are actively sick or they just got over being sick and they

[00:09:48] [SPEAKER_02]: feel terrible. The fear is I'm worried people think I just want attention every single time

[00:09:53] [SPEAKER_02]: it comes up. And it's funny because you know, I follow the trail and I always ask, you know,

[00:09:59] [SPEAKER_02]: when you were sick as a child, when you didn't feel well and you needed to stay home,

[00:10:03] [SPEAKER_02]: either for your mental health or you genuinely didn't feel well, what did you do when you were

[00:10:08] [SPEAKER_02]: sick? And usually the answer is I stayed in bed, I watched TV, I hid in my room.

[00:10:13] [SPEAKER_02]: And it's amazing because none of those things are seeking the attention of your caregiver.

[00:10:18] [SPEAKER_02]: None of those things are look at me, look at me, I'm so sick, what was me, I'm being so

[00:10:22] [SPEAKER_02]: dramatic. We labeled ourselves with being attention seekers for genuinely just needing

[00:10:29] [SPEAKER_02]: to do some self-care. Genuinely needing to take a break from all the stimulation that

[00:10:35] [SPEAKER_02]: was happening at school in our lives because it was just a little too much for us in the moment.

[00:10:40] [SPEAKER_02]: For whatever reason, we slapped that with the label your attention seeking. Even though

[00:10:46] [SPEAKER_02]: attention was never the result. This is something that our brains have made so

[00:10:52] [SPEAKER_02]: insidiously bad about us that if you really struggle with this, I urge you to go and work

[00:10:57] [SPEAKER_02]: with a therapist on this. But also know that this fear is completely irrational.

[00:11:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Not completely irrational. Sure, there are always going to be haters online.

[00:11:07] [SPEAKER_02]: There are always going to be people who see your stuff and are like,

[00:11:12] [SPEAKER_02]: they're just miserable. Do you want your life to be run by miserable for the rest of your life?

[00:11:19] [SPEAKER_02]: They're always going to find something to tear down about other people.

[00:11:23] [SPEAKER_02]: But here's the other thing about these miserable is that, oh, what am I going to say next?

[00:11:28] [SPEAKER_01]: You'll have to keep listening to find out. But first, the hyper-focused community is the

[00:11:34] [SPEAKER_02]: inner sanctum of the Weenie cast. It's a club that's designed just for you,

[00:11:39] [SPEAKER_02]: where you'll learn how to leverage your ADHD to grow your business. In the hyper-focused

[00:11:44] [SPEAKER_02]: community, we are realistic about the challenges that face ADHD business owners. And we don't

[00:11:49] [SPEAKER_02]: believe in one size fits all solutions. We believe in creating strategies that fit you.

[00:12:16] [SPEAKER_02]: On day one of signing up, you'll experience that deep sigh of relief

[00:12:21] [SPEAKER_02]: that comes from walking into a room full of people like you who you do not need to

[00:12:27] [SPEAKER_02]: mask your quirks in front of in order to fit in. Because they get you. They are you.

[00:12:33] [SPEAKER_03]: weeniecast.com forward slash hyper-focused. In the membership, every single month,

[00:12:59] [SPEAKER_02]: you'll get two group calls. We will also have co-working sessions designed for the ADHD mind

[00:13:04] [SPEAKER_02]: so you can stop procrastinating, get organized sprint calls to keep you out of overwhelm

[00:13:10] [SPEAKER_02]: all week long access to weekly brave biz lab calls where I will give you practical advice

[00:13:15] [SPEAKER_02]: to grow your business. That's weeniecast.com forward slash hyper-focused.

[00:13:49] [SPEAKER_02]: But here's the other thing about these miserable is that they will never be your clients.

[00:13:56] [SPEAKER_02]: And people like that will never be more successful than you. The reason they're so

[00:14:01] [SPEAKER_02]: miserable is because they will never tackle the fear that keeps them small, that keeps

[00:14:08] [SPEAKER_02]: them quiet, that keeps them hiding. And so the fact that you have the audacity,

[00:14:13] [SPEAKER_02]: have the bravery, you have just the sheer willpower to put yourself out there,

[00:14:19] [SPEAKER_02]: even if you're scared, even if you do it imperfectly, scares the crap out of them.

[00:14:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Because if you can do it, they should be able to do it and they know it.

[00:14:29] [SPEAKER_02]: But for whatever reason, they have chosen to let that fear run their lives.

[00:14:34] [SPEAKER_02]: And what's ironic, it's really a fear of each other. It's a fear of the other miserable

[00:14:38] [SPEAKER_02]: in the world. It's like the worst pyramid scheme you could be a part of. Could you imagine if

[00:14:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Amway were labeled the miserable department? Like, oh God, they wouldn't have been able to

[00:14:49] [SPEAKER_02]: ruin so many families financial future if they were named that way properly. Unfortunately,

[00:14:56] [SPEAKER_02]: if you're part of the MLM scheme, please stop listening to any of my stuff. You're

[00:15:00] [SPEAKER_02]: banished from my world. I don't do MLMs. It's one of the things that I think is

[00:15:06] [SPEAKER_02]: the saddest scheme because they really prey on people who are so desperate to have a solid income

[00:15:13] [SPEAKER_02]: who generally don't have a whole lot of money to spare. And then they go on and ruin all these

[00:15:19] [SPEAKER_02]: friendships because no one wants to get sucked into that. And it just it's this downward spiral

[00:15:24] [SPEAKER_02]: of their life. So yeah, no MLMs side tangent. Get out of here. If you're enjoying this

[00:15:29] [SPEAKER_02]: episode, would you do me a small favor? Will you please leave me a review? Don't worry,

[00:15:34] [SPEAKER_02]: it's super easy to do and it only takes a few minutes. You can leave your comments in Apple

[00:15:38] [SPEAKER_02]: podcasts, Castbox, Spotify and Podchaser. Just go to weeniecast.com forward slash reviews

[00:15:45] [SPEAKER_02]: and scroll till you find the chosen app. That's weeniecast.com forward slash reviews.

[00:15:54] [SPEAKER_02]: So if they're never going to be clients and they're not further ahead of you,

[00:15:59] [SPEAKER_02]: so you can't learn anything from them. Why are you listening to them? And I always like to remind

[00:16:05] [SPEAKER_02]: my clients, it's your account. You own the delete button. You own the block button. If anyone

[00:16:13] [SPEAKER_02]: showing up and being a jerk in your comments, you have full permission to delete their comment

[00:16:17] [SPEAKER_02]: and block them. Just because you're putting yourself out in the public does not mean that

[00:16:22] [SPEAKER_02]: you have to accept whatever attention is sent your way. And it's especially true for you

[00:16:27] [SPEAKER_02]: ladies out there because men on the internet can be kind of gross. And really, really here's

[00:16:32] [SPEAKER_02]: the shift that we have to fully embrace about this whole situation, this fear of people being

[00:16:39] [SPEAKER_02]: mean to us on the internet if we put ourselves out there. The bare truth here is you're the one

[00:16:44] [SPEAKER_02]: being the asshole. You're the one that's projecting onto all these lovely supportive

[00:16:49] [SPEAKER_02]: human beings who want to see you thrive and succeed, that they're going to judge you.

[00:16:54] [SPEAKER_02]: You're the one making up stories in your head that they're at home saying all these mean things

[00:16:59] [SPEAKER_02]: about you. You're the one who thinks that there are people out there who are so obsessed with you

[00:17:07] [SPEAKER_02]: that all they're going to do all day long is sit around criticizing you.

[00:17:12] [SPEAKER_02]: And full permission to be that if that is who you are and you want to project that on other

[00:17:16] [SPEAKER_02]: people, who am I to make that wrong? You want to make yourself the center of the world for

[00:17:21] [SPEAKER_02]: everyone who knows you? Sure, go for it. This is the point is there's nothing innately bad

[00:17:26] [SPEAKER_02]: about being the center of attention. And I know I'll get pushback from some people on that.

[00:17:32] [SPEAKER_02]: It's what you do with that attention that makes you good or bad. If with that attention

[00:17:37] [SPEAKER_02]: you're like, come on guys, let's go gather rocks and throw them at small children in

[00:17:40] [SPEAKER_02]: the playground. Yeah, you're a terrible human being. You should be put in jail.

[00:17:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Those poor children and the playgrounds, like playground paint doesn't stand up to rocks being

[00:17:51] [SPEAKER_02]: thrown at it. I know, I know it's not a serious grievance is like children getting rocks thrown

[00:17:56] [SPEAKER_02]: at them. But it is something that you could do that's like property damage. Don't do that.

[00:18:00] [SPEAKER_02]: It'll cost your local taxpayers money. But if with that attention, you're saying, hey,

[00:18:06] [SPEAKER_02]: if you have this problem and I can help you with that problem,

[00:18:09] [SPEAKER_02]: I think that makes you a really good person. I think that makes you someone who has a gift

[00:18:15] [SPEAKER_02]: who isn't being a stingy selfish person with their gift and is offering to help other human beings.

[00:18:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Which brings me to my next mindset shift that I want you to have when it comes to putting

[00:18:28] [SPEAKER_02]: yourself out there and really dealing with this fear of, oh my God, like I'm going to

[00:18:32] [SPEAKER_02]: be calling attention to myself. There are so many people out there who need your help

[00:18:45] [SPEAKER_02]: and they need your help. They need to connect with you because you and they have some kind

[00:18:53] [SPEAKER_02]: of connection. You have things in common. You have a shared sense of humor. You might come

[00:18:57] [SPEAKER_02]: from the same background. You have an understanding of who they are and what their life is like

[00:19:04] [SPEAKER_02]: that they're not going to get with other people. There's so many business coaches out

[00:19:09] [SPEAKER_02]: there. There's so many people who can help you start a business. I'm not for everyone,

[00:19:14] [SPEAKER_02]: but you know the people that I am for, I can help so much better than other people.

[00:19:20] [SPEAKER_02]: The clients who like really lame Harry Potter jokes, by the way, J.K. Rowling don't agree with

[00:19:25] [SPEAKER_02]: her stance on trans people. Just I love the books. I like to separate it from her. Just

[00:19:31] [SPEAKER_02]: little side note. But if you enjoy a good like Harry Potter reference, I'm your gal.

[00:19:37] [SPEAKER_02]: If you want to nerd out about West Wing, that's me. If you like kind of like weird

[00:19:42] [SPEAKER_02]: appropriate jokes in group coaching sessions that makes people giggle and makes learning

[00:19:49] [SPEAKER_02]: how to run a business, which is really scary, a lot more fun, then I'm absolutely your person.

[00:19:56] [SPEAKER_02]: But if you want a business coach who leverages shame and pressure to get you to do stuff,

[00:20:01] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not your person. You can go and find so many other business coaches for that.

[00:20:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Whatever your personality, your sense of humor, your background, whatever,

[00:20:10] [SPEAKER_02]: all that makes you the perfect person to help a certain set of people out there in the world.

[00:20:15] [SPEAKER_02]: And without you, they will not be able to accomplish whatever it is that's possible for

[00:20:21] [SPEAKER_02]: them. And so if you're not willing to put yourself out there, if you're not willing to

[00:20:26] [SPEAKER_02]: be brave and deal with some potential haters online, some potential trolls whose voices don't

[00:20:34] [SPEAKER_02]: matter anyway, just because you're afraid, you're actually being incredibly selfish

[00:20:38] [SPEAKER_02]: because you're robbing them of that future they could have access to if they work with you.

[00:20:45] [SPEAKER_02]: And I want to share, you know, when I started growing my business online,

[00:20:48] [SPEAKER_02]: looking back at that content, I cringe. It was not good. I've gotten so much better in the

[00:20:56] [SPEAKER_02]: years since I started some of those posts like it feels like reading something that I wrote in

[00:21:01] [SPEAKER_02]: middle school. I literally sometimes when I'm going through and kind of sorting through old

[00:21:06] [SPEAKER_02]: content to see what I can repurpose and recycle, I like have to get up and like walk it off.

[00:21:10] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm so embarrassed that I put that stuff out there.

[00:21:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Here's the truth is that it got me clients. Even the bad cringe, embarrassing, not well

[00:21:23] [SPEAKER_02]: written crappy content that I did when I first started doing this, that still got me clients

[00:21:30] [SPEAKER_02]: because people can't hire you if they don't know that you exist. That's the bare minimum.

[00:21:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Never have I ever just gone out with a fistful of cash, with my eyes closed, just like trying to

[00:21:43] [SPEAKER_02]: find someone who I could give the money to do something for my business without knowing what

[00:21:48] [SPEAKER_02]: I need. If you want to try it, that's a great way to get robbed and to lose money.

[00:21:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Not a great way to hire someone. And if you're standing on the street,

[00:21:56] [SPEAKER_02]: just waiting for someone to do that, you're never going to get clients.

[00:22:00] [SPEAKER_02]: You know, the other thing I want to remind you is that we're so lucky

[00:22:03] [SPEAKER_02]: that we have social media right now. Back in the day, you'd have to pay for a spread in the

[00:22:11] [SPEAKER_02]: newspaper. You'd have to rent an office on a main street, put out a sign and just hope

[00:22:17] [SPEAKER_02]: that people saw it. The people walking down the street just so happen to look up and read

[00:22:22] [SPEAKER_02]: your sign and think, oh yeah, I could use that help. Cool. Now, I mean, even if you

[00:22:27] [SPEAKER_02]: only get 100 views on your post and you're posting every day for 30 days, for instance,

[00:22:31] [SPEAKER_02]: yeah, that's still 3000 people who now know that you exist. Another option is you could stand on a

[00:22:37] [SPEAKER_02]: street corner handing out flyers. Do you know how many hours you'd have to stand out there

[00:22:42] [SPEAKER_02]: handing out flyers to people who probably aren't your ideal client? Beauty about social media

[00:22:48] [SPEAKER_02]: is that you can use keywords, you can use hashtags, you can engage with other people

[00:22:54] [SPEAKER_02]: on social media who are in the vicinity of your work, who are going to be in front of

[00:22:59] [SPEAKER_02]: your ideal clients. You can manipulate it so that you're more likely to show up in front

[00:23:04] [SPEAKER_02]: of your ideal clients so that they know that you exist. And I know it's scary and I know it

[00:23:11] [SPEAKER_02]: feels gross to say, look at me, look at me. But you're not just doing it for no reason.

[00:23:17] [SPEAKER_02]: You're not doing it for the sake of being that kid in class who constantly has something

[00:23:21] [SPEAKER_02]: to share. You're not doing it for the sake of gathering people to go through rocks at children.

[00:23:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Thank God. You're doing it to help people and you're doing it to help yourself so that you can

[00:23:34] [SPEAKER_02]: have a successful business, so that you can have a life that you actually enjoy,

[00:23:38] [SPEAKER_02]: where you have control over your time and your freedom. There's nothing inherently bad about

[00:23:44] [SPEAKER_02]: that. This is less about ADHD and more about people who have this desire to help others.

[00:23:50] [SPEAKER_02]: There's this belief that in order to be a true helper, we have to also be poor. There's like

[00:23:57] [SPEAKER_02]: this very Catholic model of like, oh cool, I want to help others so now I have to give up

[00:24:02] [SPEAKER_02]: all my worldly possessions and then go live the life of a pauper in a convent and not

[00:24:07] [SPEAKER_02]: stick out or be special at all. No, no, no, no, that's not how this works.

[00:24:13] [SPEAKER_02]: The Catholic Church is worth billions. There's not a single nun or priest who has given up

[00:24:19] [SPEAKER_02]: all their worldly belongings to go and work for them who's lacking food or lacking a place to

[00:24:24] [SPEAKER_02]: sleep. You do not have that kind of backup. You do not have that kind of support from a

[00:24:30] [SPEAKER_02]: greater institution. Wouldn't that be cool if there was like a church of entrepreneurs that

[00:24:35] [SPEAKER_02]: wasn't religious at all, but it just had money to support entrepreneurs who wanted to

[00:24:40] [SPEAKER_02]: start businesses? Maybe I'll start one. Maybe I will actually become a religious figurehead of

[00:24:47] [SPEAKER_02]: nothing, but like here, I'm gonna support you to start this. Oh my God, that would be so funny.

[00:24:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Think of like instead of like a church with all those like alcoves that like are dedicated to

[00:24:57] [SPEAKER_02]: saints, there would be like an alcove that's like here's a little seminar on SEO and then

[00:25:02] [SPEAKER_02]: here's where we're going to go to do a little photo shoot and then here's another alcove to

[00:25:05] [SPEAKER_02]: the patron saint of websites. This could be an idea. Although I mean, I'd have to take the

[00:25:11] [SPEAKER_02]: word church out. That would be misleading. People would come and get really confused.

[00:25:14] [SPEAKER_02]: We'll have to brainstorm this and like idea board it. You do not have that kind of support,

[00:25:20] [SPEAKER_02]: so there's nothing wrong with you needing to support yourself and make money. The fact

[00:25:26] [SPEAKER_02]: that you're doing so by helping other people is just icing on the cake. Lastly, you know,

[00:25:34] [SPEAKER_02]: the things that make you different. I know it's so hard as a person with ADHD who's always

[00:25:39] [SPEAKER_02]: thought differently, spoken differently, viewed the world differently, you know, especially

[00:25:44] [SPEAKER_02]: growing up, especially trying to integrate into workplaces where everyone else seems to have an

[00:25:49] [SPEAKER_02]: easier time. It's all built for them. This is the beauty of starting your own business. You get

[00:25:53] [SPEAKER_02]: to design things that work for you. You get to design a life that works for you, but only

[00:26:00] [SPEAKER_02]: if you stop letting your life be run by the judgments of others. And if you're struggling

[00:26:06] [SPEAKER_02]: with fears like this that are keeping you quiet, keeping you small, keeping you hidden,

[00:26:11] [SPEAKER_02]: I work with every single one of my clients on this particular problem.

[00:26:15] [SPEAKER_02]: This fear of calling attention to yourself is not unique to you. I know it feels like you are

[00:26:22] [SPEAKER_02]: gloriously, uniquely fucked up in your own way, but you're not. And I know that makes you less

[00:26:28] [SPEAKER_02]: special, but it also makes this so much easier to overcome. And what will make this easier to get

[00:26:34] [SPEAKER_02]: over is being in a community with people who all struggle with the same thing. It's one of

[00:26:40] [SPEAKER_02]: the reasons why I started and launched the hyper-focused community for ADHD business owners,

[00:26:46] [SPEAKER_02]: because we get so in our own heads about all the ways in which we're too afraid to show up

[00:26:52] [SPEAKER_02]: or, you know, the world's not set up for us, so like, I'll just step back. We don't realize

[00:26:57] [SPEAKER_02]: that it's just the neurotypical world. It's just the world that wasn't designed for how our

[00:27:03] [SPEAKER_02]: brains work. But when we find each other, when we're able to say, hey, I'm having this problem,

[00:27:09] [SPEAKER_02]: how do you guys deal with this? And hear from a bunch of other people who also have ADHD,

[00:27:14] [SPEAKER_02]: who've done the work and who have figured out a way to make the work work for them.

[00:27:21] [SPEAKER_02]: We see that it's not a failure on our part. It's just a failure on our world. And you'll

[00:27:28] [SPEAKER_02]: be shocked how quickly you can get to work once you realize that you're not the only one

[00:27:32] [SPEAKER_02]: who struggles with it. So if you're curious about the hyper-focused community, then I invite you to

[00:27:36] [SPEAKER_02]: go check it out at weeniecast.com forward slash hyper-focused. And of course, that link is in

[00:27:43] [SPEAKER_02]: the show notes. And so this morning, I like I'm wearing shorts today. And the cat was like

[00:27:51] [SPEAKER_02]: begging for attention. So I picked him up and put him in my lap and like he's like clawing

[00:27:55] [SPEAKER_02]: the f**k out of my legs. And like I'm like, stop, stop, stop. And then Luna comes over and

[00:27:59] [SPEAKER_02]: puts her wet beard right on my knee. And I'm like, this is the worst. This is this is hell.

[00:28:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Like if I go to hell, this is what it's going to be for eternity.